Updated: Mar 23

A child gets hungry when his/her “food tank” is empty, Hence, he/she lacks energy to engage in play or exercise. Likewise, he/she feels neglected when his/her "love- tanks” runs low. Before you can impart values or discipline to him/her, you need to ensure that the "love tanks" are filled.

Everyone needs to be loved, and people who can fill these tanks, are usually the significant others in our lives. For children, it will definitely come from the parents.

How do we then fill these love tanks

According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 categories in which one can express his/her love to another person.

1) Gifts

2) Words of Affirmation

3) Quality Time

4) Acts of Service

5) Physical Touch

How we show a child that we love him/her, usually falls into one of the 5 categories. Everyone will have our preferred ways which we hope to receive love. Some of us may already know what the 5 Love Languages are,

while others may wonder "is it really important?" Over the past decade of working with youth and children, I have seen numerous cases where parents and children cannot relate to each other. This relationship breakdown all had a common missing link, which is the miscommunication of “love”, As time goes by, it gradually snowball into undesirable expectation of each other. We want to prevent this, or put an end to it.


Over here in LoveTalks, we aim to help parents discover the effectiveness of using the 5 Love Languages in building effective communication and meaningful relationship with your children. In the next few write ups, I will be sharing more in-depth about

  • How the 5 Love Languages works for or against you.

  • A brand new method of counselling that will be used.

Not only will you gain insights to your own unique way of communicating to your child, you will also be filling up his/her love tank more efficiently.

In the next post, I will tell you more about how we do it, using the LoveTalks method.

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