In my last post, I wrote about how triangulation may look like in a family. Actually, the key to prevent triangulation is very simple. You simply have to set your boundaries clear, using what I call the " CEO boundaries " .
Make it CLEAR.
Make it EXPLICIT .
Make it OBVIOUS.
As parents, both of you are a collective group of "power" at home. This also means that, both of you are at the very top of the hierarchy and your child MUST know this. At no point should you allow your child to "interfere" your decision making.
How do you achieve it? By following these steps:
1) Never argue/disagree in the presence of your child
2) Always give the same consistent message / decision
3) Never ask your child to be a "judge" for your argument
Remember, you are the CEO of the family, and you only dedicate out your tasks when you give them the permission to do so. By keeping your child out of certain discussion, is a way of keeping hold on your authority. Even if you listen to their opinion and have decided to adjust your final decision, always let them know this - Parents have the final say, and we have decided to ____
Nonetheless, over here, I am referring to young children age up to 10. When they reach adolescence, it is then time for you to include them in certain discussions. By then, they would have experienced at least 10 years of knowing "who is in charge" within the family.